David Swann was born in Accrington, a few doors up the street from his childhood neighbour, the author Jeanette Winterson.  

After trying Leamington, Manchester, Amsterdam and Morecambe, he has chosen to settle for a while in Brighton, where there is a better quality of shingle. 

His career record is all over the place. His first job was to cover the matches of Accrington Stanley FC. Later, he wrote entire magazines about boat winches and peas. He has also cleaned toilets in Amsterdam's legendary Paradiso night-club and worked as